In twenty three days I will be finished university. The semester doesn't officially end until the end of May but I hand in my dissertation on the 9th and after that I have a few weeks to truly embrace my favourite town in the whole world and the people who live in it.
I don't want to go. This semester especially I have completely fallen in love with Stirling and I can't believe at all that university is almost over. I have a group of amazing friends, all of whom bring something to my life that the others couldn't.
And for all of this I owe so much to Jesus.
I owe Him everything.
I currently don't know where I'm going to end up six months down the line but Jesus already has that planned out, and everything that He has for me is in Him and He will never leave my side throughout any of it, the good or the bad, the scary or the exciting; He will always be there.
Psalm 32:8
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.”
(NIV)
This semester has given me an incredibly strong foundation in Christ. It has confirmed to me all the things I want in life, and that all those things are firmly based upon my relationship with Jesus. Everything I want in life seems to point towards God, it's all based upon Him; I honestly can't believe I've reached this point at only twenty two years old and I'm so grateful for it. I don't know how people can go through life without Jesus.
I don't know how I got through my first year without any Christian friends. To be honest, I didn't get through it, I stumbled through it, before God kept stepping infront of me to try and pick me up, time and time again. I'd keep letting go and falling again, just managing to crawl through each day. But it got to a point when I knew I couldn't keep living the way I was, I knew there was more to life than just drinking and partying, it was empty and meaningless. Whenever we weren't partying I was thinking about when we next would, so I could somehow cover up the pain that I felt when I was sober.
I don't know how I did it, how I existed like this. The whole time I knew I needed to fix it, I needed to sort my faith out, I needed to talk to God; but what I didn't realise at that point was that my faith shouldn't be based on feelings, it shouldn't be based on whether or not I felt like I wanted to talk to God. This is something that has become so clear to me recently, that even if I don't feel like praying, or reading my Bible, or going to Church, that the truth of Jesus still remains so I still need to do these things. I still need to cling to Him because He is always there, even when it doesn't feel like it. And the beautiful thing is that it no longer is just a feeling, it's everything in my being because He made me, He created me like an artist paints a picture. He painted me on canvas and then placed me on the surface of the earth.
That is why I know I want everything I do in life to be geared towards Him, whether that be washing dishes, or doing some sort of Christian work, or getting married, or teaching people to speak English, or being a mum; it is all His, and it is all for Him.
As the credits begin to roll on this part of my life (cheesy film student analogies, sorry...) I know for certain that I want to follow Jesus every single day that I'm alive. If I hadn't made so many mistakes when I was eighteen I might still be questioning God's existence and His love for me; I'm glad I've learnt so much. Life, with Jesus Christ, is the most beautiful thing anyone could ever experience. I am more than glad to call Him my friend.
Ephesians 3:16-21
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
(NIV)
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