Much Needed Grace//"There's nothing greater than knowing You."

I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a nature nerd. But, out of all of God's beautiful creation, I love animals most, and right now there's a Squirrel that keeps scampering past my open window, considering hopping into next door's bin to find breakfast. God keeps doing this recently, showing me things in His creation that make my heart happy. Last week, when I was still living alone, I left the library early to ensure I didn't have to walk home in the dark, and I saw one of the most beautiful sun sets I've ever seen.

For a little while I've been finding myself feeling distant from God, getting disctracted by mundane, everyday things and putting everything before Him, and I started to notice my heart was getting a little heavy. But, rather than becoming anti-social and sad about it like I did last semester, I decided to do the opposite. First of all, I stopped trying to make things better. God doesn't work like that, it's about Him, not our abilities. So I stopped pushing myself to read my Bible and pray and just told Him I needed him to fix it, because I couldn't. Human instinct tells us to sort our lives out, to always be in control; God doesn't. I'm not saying you should never read your Bible or pray, but sometimes it's okay to sit back and tell God we're too weak to do anything, because we might say "I'm a strong, independent human, I can do this!", but He says "you're only human, let me handle this."

Exodus 14:14 puts it perfectly:
"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Even if I hadn't called out to the Lord and asked Him to help me He still would've done it, He still would've carried me because He knows what I need, even when I'm too afraid to say it. He fights for us, we don't need to do anything.

In addition to letting God take over, I went to CU last night. The speaker, Phil, talked about our need for grace, and how much we don't realise we need it anymore. Strangely, this had been something I was thinking about recently. I'd been trying to figure out what my heart was feeling and last night's talk put it into words perfectly. I had forgotten how much I needed grace, how much I needed the love and forgiveness of Jesus. I'd forgotten what the cross really means for me; that Jesus died on that cross for all mankind in the same way that He would've died if it had just been for me alone. That is how much He loves us.

So, friends, don't push yourselves. Don't make God seem mundane and boring. Don't try to search for Him when you're lost, just let Him find you, because He knows where we are even when we don't.

x

Midnight Thoughts

As we're all used to in Scotland, tonight was another bitterly cold night. After having had a great time with a bunch of amazing people, those of us who live in the chalets headed back home, and something happened. Something that I'm not sure I know how to describe. Like I said, it was bitterly cold, and it was so quiet. Oh, so quiet. Like everything had settled once again and the storm had ended. It was that kind of cold that goes right through to your bones, but it was refreshing and new and, most of all, safe.

Only good things are ahead this semester.

I don't want to quote Bible verses to you tonight because sometimes I fail at praying and reading my Bible, but God still works, He doesn't give up just because I'm weak. I was really broken last semester. Really lost and unsure and afraid, but this semester things are so different.

I feel like the prodigal son, like a soldier being sent out to battle with all the best armour, I am loved and I am ready for whatever the next few months want to throw at me because of that love.

And because of that love I want to love other people; I'm already seeing a change in myself.

I have Christ, and therefore I have everything I'll ever need.

x