Church search, and why it's hard.

A while ago, before leaving Stirling, I realised I would need to find a good church community in Northern Ireland because I knew I would be here for a while. To say I was apprehensive was putting it lightly; living in Stirling for four years has had me spoilt by the fact that, in most churches, the majority of the congregation really and truly want to be there. Scotland needs God and the few who realise this seem to run to Him with aching hearts, truly knowing He is what they're looking for. I knew very few people who were on the fence, who weren't really set in their beliefs and who didn't want to be doing everything they could to get involved in a church community.

I'm not saying Scotland is some sort of perfect land of milk and honey, or that the church I was a part of had it all right, but I believe that what it did have was authenticity. I believe that the people I saw there on Sunday's truly wanted to be there and had a fire burning within them that I just haven't seen here yet.

This morning I went to a new church, and after a reasonable amount of people had filed in through the door and the minister had said good morning I felt quite underwhelmed. Firstly, the children weren't included in any part of the service. I think it's so important that they are a part of the body of the Church from the very start of their lives, and not just sent off to a hall before the service starts. After all, Jesus said "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the Kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Luke 17:18) We need to learn from children and I think they should be made to feel a part of the body from as young as possible. Plus, it totally loosens up the congregation to get them all involved in silly action songs (which actually hold a lot of really important meaning). The worship band was great but as I looked around I saw very few people singing or even looking like they wanted to sing; music is an incredibly important part of worship for me and it's hard to do that passionately when the people around you are apathetic. We're meant to be a community, a family, and we need to be encouraging each other. The sermon was nice; yes, nice. The intentions were good but it was everything I'd already read by authors like Francis Chan and Philip Yancey, but not nearly as in-depth. I also felt that, after reading out the relevant passage, the speaker hardly ever referenced it again or made any other references to other areas of the Bible; how are you encouraging your congregation to read their Bibles more if you spend little time doing this from the pulpit?

It was comfortable; I'm not looking for comfortable.

I'm looking for a sermon that makes me question how I'm living, that makes me wonder more about God, that makes me realise that, as I learn more, He gets bigger and I get smaller and smaller. I think the problem in Northern Ireland is that people have become very comfortable. We call ourselves a "Christian country" (whatever that means) but what we really have are good values; that isn't Christianity. We might give the most to charity out of all four countries in the UK but what is that when we're not pushing ourselves in our faith, really delving deeper into the gospel of Jesus and challenging ourselves to learn more about Him, putting ourselves in situations that we don't necessarily want to be in?

I think the sad fact is that we've lost our authenticity. The only reason I am where I am with God right now is because I got completely thrown out of my comfort zone and made a lot of bad choices because I was so afraid and lost; I was lifted out of this tiny country, where I was able to go to church with my parents and not really get to know anyone, and set into one where I had to put in all the effort I had to meet Christians. It was in that place where I fell head over heels in love with Jesus, where I realised my faith was not one of "pick 'n' mix", but entirely one of "all or nothing". I discovered that I simply couldn't live without God, that it would be entirely impossible to make any sort of move without Him, without the support of His body. I'm not saying everyone in Northern Ireland has a useless, weak faith, because I have plenty of friends and family members who are truly in love with God who've lived here their whole lives and that's brilliant. But there are so many churches here that it's easy to just pick one and stick with it, whether or not you really see it doing anything in your life or aiding you in your walk with God, and this ends in churches full of inauthentic faith; it makes me really sad.

I doubt that everyone in the church was thinking the same as me, after all I was sitting beside a woman who'd been a member for fifteen years, and I'm not saying that I'm better than this church or that I'm too smart for their teaching, and I also doubt that the sermon was wasted on everyone (there were probably plenty who needed to hear it), but it just wasn't the place for me. I want to go somewhere that I can truly see and feel the Holy Spirit moving, a church where people are truly passionate about the God they say they worship.

All prayers towards me finding a good church home would be appreciated.

x

Sunday, and Why We Have Hope

I've just come home from my church's sunrise service on Yellowhill in Stirling; it was a beautiful way to start off Easter Sunday, and it's the first sunrise service I've ever been to. After the service we went back to the church and sat down together to eat bacon rolls and drink juice, tea, and coffee.

I really felt like part of a great community this morning. I felt welcome and loved; I felt like an important part of the Body of Christ and, praise Jesus, that's exactly what I am. I hope that on this Easter Sunday everyone can feel like part of a family, even if that isn't a church family, and for those who don't I hope and pray that God will bring that to you.

However, on the way home, at around 8:00 am, we drove past a girl who was doing what is known as "the walk of shame". She was wearing what I can only assume were last nights clothes and was carrying her shoes; but this wasn't the saddest part. The saddest part was that this girl looked completely heart broken. And I'm not making that up or over emphasising it for some sort of dramatic affect; she genuinely looked incredibly upset as we drove past and she continued to slowly amble on home.

For a long time in my life I felt insignificant. I felt small and alone and like not a single soul in the world cared about me or thought I was worth anything. Last night I was browsing through some photos that a friend had taken on a recent trip to San Francisco and there were some amazing snaps of the Golden Gate Bridge. Suddenly it hit me that even though this bridge is absolutely enormous, in the eyes of Jesus, God, the Creator of the Universe, I am immeasurably more significant than the Golden Gate Bridge will ever be. I am more significant to the Lord than any of these grand statements made by man, I'm more significant than the beasts of the field and the birds of the air that He Himself created.

Jesus died on the cross for all of us, so that we could all understand how significant we are to God. He didn't come for the righteous, those above their station, the strong, the mighty; as it says in the Beatitudes, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3), "Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. " (Matt. 5:5-6). 

And, as Luke puts it perfectly:
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." (Luke 19:10)

However, to return to the girl I talked about above, I think it's easy to just drive past people like this and make sweeping judgements. But I used to drink and party on a regular basis. Fortunately I never did "the walk of shame", I never went home with a guy, but what if I had? Would that mean Jesus would love me any less, would He be angry with me, would He feel less forgiving? No. Not at all. In fact it would break His heart to have seen me in that situation, to be looking for affection and love in one of many places where I would never find it. It would break His heart because He loved me so much that He died for me, and proved to death that even it wasn't strong enough to stand in His way.

My Lord is stronger than death, His love is stronger than any I could find any where else, so why would I try and find that in anything but Him?

These days I sometimes sit and think about how lucky I am to know Jesus, to have chosen to follow Him and allow Him to take control of my life. I have never felt so safe, so worry free, so content. I have my struggles, yes, life as a Christian isn't life lived through rose-tinted glasses, but I always have Jesus to help me, to carry me through the tough times. I was once blind, but now I see, I see what the world is longing for, in fact I have what the world is longing for, because God has given me the ability to have faith in Him; He has given me so many reasons to believe and I'll never stop.

So on this Easter Sunday I hope you can realise your significance. You are loved, you are important, you are more than enough, the Creator of this Universe, our God, the Lord Jesus Christ, wants you to know that.

x

Sunrise over the Ochils on Easter Sunday morning at Yellow Hill, Stirling, Scotland.

Sunday is Coming

It always rains on Good Friday.

Since Easter 2011, God has gotten me through some crazy things. He's led me through my last year of university, He took me half way around the world and back, He's remade me, changed me, grown me, He's slowly making me into the person I'm meant to be.

But Good Friday isn't about me. Good Friday is about the day that my Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ, allowed Himself to be covered in sin so that every single person who steps foot upon this planet for even the smallest period of time could be forgiven and loved by our Creator. 

Jesus walked the Via Dolorosa, too weak to carry His own cross after having been beaten and whipped by the Roman soldiers. He could have had this pain taken away, He could have asked His Father God to do it differently but the night before, in the Garden of Gethsemane, He prayed, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke, 22:42) He was so worried, so nervous, so stressed out that He actually sweat blood.


I think that we sometimes forget how human Jesus was; He may have been God but He was also man, and He was terrified to die. 


Jesus' death on the cross is so much bigger than my little worries, so much bigger than my dissertation, or my post-university plans, or what I'm having for dinner tonight. Jesus cares about these things, He cares that I try my best, and that I don't become a bum, and that I eat, because He knows these things are important to this world; but most of all His death means that I don't need to worry, that I don't need to stress about anything because His resurrection on Sunday means that He's in control, He's got this; not even death can stand in His way.


His resurrection means that no one needs to worry, not a single soul; if You just trust in Him He'll take control of everything. And once You take hold of Him, He'll never let go of you.

Like I said at the start, it always rains on Good Friday... but on Sunday, the Son's going to come out... See what I did there?


x