Being angry with God, and why it's pointless.

I should be finishing up my dissertation but I wanted to quickly write something, to encourage myself and anyone else who needs it.

I think we need to stop thinking that just because people can quote Bible verses or wear the right clothes or be popular that they have it all together. I think we need to start realising that everyone is broken, and everyone has their trials, and that everyone's heart has been torn to shreds countless times.

I am not alone in my brokenness and I can be fixed, but only by Jesus, and no matter how much I run from that it doesn't make it any less true. Being angry with Him won't make life any easier, yelling at Him won't piece my heart back together.

I'm surrounded by some amazing people, and a lot of them have prayed for me over the past week, and without that prayer I might be in a far worse place than I am now. Fellowship (and if that word scares you lets just call it friendship or community) is the best thing in the world and I know that if I was in the same position as I am now, a year ago, things wouldn't quite be going the way they are today.

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The Bible, trying to figure out how on earth we actually apply it to our lives, and trusting in community.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

I posted this Bible verse as a tweet a few days ago but, when talking to a friend about it, I began to realise that I actually have no idea how to do this. How do we guard our hearts? How do we allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to love people, but yet not let them totally tear us down every time they do something that doesn't make us happy?

I should probably let you know now that this isn't one of those blog posts in which I have some great revelation on how to do this because, quite frankly, I'm completely baffled at this concept.

I'd really like your input (via Facebook, in a comment here, or vie email - mbaraniuk@hotmail.co.uk), I'd really like the thoughts and ideas of my readers because, as someone who is part of a community, part of the body of Christ, I know how important it is to ask other believers what they think.

So, how do we apply the Bible to our lives (in particular, the verse stated above)? How do we not let the world get to us while remaining focused on God?

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Sunday, and Why We Have Hope

I've just come home from my church's sunrise service on Yellowhill in Stirling; it was a beautiful way to start off Easter Sunday, and it's the first sunrise service I've ever been to. After the service we went back to the church and sat down together to eat bacon rolls and drink juice, tea, and coffee.

I really felt like part of a great community this morning. I felt welcome and loved; I felt like an important part of the Body of Christ and, praise Jesus, that's exactly what I am. I hope that on this Easter Sunday everyone can feel like part of a family, even if that isn't a church family, and for those who don't I hope and pray that God will bring that to you.

However, on the way home, at around 8:00 am, we drove past a girl who was doing what is known as "the walk of shame". She was wearing what I can only assume were last nights clothes and was carrying her shoes; but this wasn't the saddest part. The saddest part was that this girl looked completely heart broken. And I'm not making that up or over emphasising it for some sort of dramatic affect; she genuinely looked incredibly upset as we drove past and she continued to slowly amble on home.

For a long time in my life I felt insignificant. I felt small and alone and like not a single soul in the world cared about me or thought I was worth anything. Last night I was browsing through some photos that a friend had taken on a recent trip to San Francisco and there were some amazing snaps of the Golden Gate Bridge. Suddenly it hit me that even though this bridge is absolutely enormous, in the eyes of Jesus, God, the Creator of the Universe, I am immeasurably more significant than the Golden Gate Bridge will ever be. I am more significant to the Lord than any of these grand statements made by man, I'm more significant than the beasts of the field and the birds of the air that He Himself created.

Jesus died on the cross for all of us, so that we could all understand how significant we are to God. He didn't come for the righteous, those above their station, the strong, the mighty; as it says in the Beatitudes, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" (Matt. 5:3), "Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. " (Matt. 5:5-6). 

And, as Luke puts it perfectly:
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." (Luke 19:10)

However, to return to the girl I talked about above, I think it's easy to just drive past people like this and make sweeping judgements. But I used to drink and party on a regular basis. Fortunately I never did "the walk of shame", I never went home with a guy, but what if I had? Would that mean Jesus would love me any less, would He be angry with me, would He feel less forgiving? No. Not at all. In fact it would break His heart to have seen me in that situation, to be looking for affection and love in one of many places where I would never find it. It would break His heart because He loved me so much that He died for me, and proved to death that even it wasn't strong enough to stand in His way.

My Lord is stronger than death, His love is stronger than any I could find any where else, so why would I try and find that in anything but Him?

These days I sometimes sit and think about how lucky I am to know Jesus, to have chosen to follow Him and allow Him to take control of my life. I have never felt so safe, so worry free, so content. I have my struggles, yes, life as a Christian isn't life lived through rose-tinted glasses, but I always have Jesus to help me, to carry me through the tough times. I was once blind, but now I see, I see what the world is longing for, in fact I have what the world is longing for, because God has given me the ability to have faith in Him; He has given me so many reasons to believe and I'll never stop.

So on this Easter Sunday I hope you can realise your significance. You are loved, you are important, you are more than enough, the Creator of this Universe, our God, the Lord Jesus Christ, wants you to know that.

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Sunrise over the Ochils on Easter Sunday morning at Yellow Hill, Stirling, Scotland.

The Only Important Decision

Sometimes we think the decision that's right in front of us is the most trying thing we've ever dealt with. Somehow it completely takes over our life and makes us think that nothing else is important, that if we mess this up, if we choose the wrong path, everything is going to fall to pieces. We forget that our decisions are so trivial when it comes to God.

I can't write a post about decision making this morning, that's not the point in this. But I want to write about the love of Jesus and how that is far more important than any decision we ever make. Maybe some of you will see it as a cop-out, but as someone who frequently thinks certain choices will make her happy, I know this is what I need.

I'm really liking the book of Isaiah at the minute and this morning I found this verse:

Isaiah 54:10
"'Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed.'
Says the Lord, who has compassion on you."
(NIV)

I read Genesis back in January and one thing that kept reappearing was God's promise of His covenant to His people, and once again in Isaiah He reminds us of this. God, who sent ten plagues on Egypt, who "rained down burning sulfur" (Genesis 19:24) on the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, who could have done anything to make us love Him, has compassion upon me.

Compassion so strong that He gave up all heavenly powers and came to earth as a tiny, helpless baby who had to depend on humans for even the simplest of things. Compassion so strong that He sent His Son to die an incredibly painful death, to be crucified, for me. 

I don't have children yet, but I am a child to two amazing parents, and I know how much they worry about me when I'm at university. I can't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for the Father to let His Son experience pain like that.

It doesn't really matter to God which path I choose. I don't mean He doesn't care, what I do mean is that no matter what I decide He will be with me either way. He doesn't ever leave our sides and, even if I do fall away from Him for a while, He will always guide me back to Him. In 2008 I chose to move to Scotland for university and I definitely did fall away from God for a while, but I think this blog is proof enough that He never let go of me.

If God truly wants us to choose one path more than another He will move mountains to make that happen (I stole this quote from a friend, so props to Rhea Wilms). But I think that right now God is saying the decision is up to me, He'll work with whatever choice I make, that part isn't overly important to Him.

So friends, I'll leave you with something beautiful:

Ephesians 1:3-8
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will - to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
(NIV)

I encourage you to decide to fall more in love with Jesus than ever before.

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